Starlets and Superstars
by dazey186
Summary: Jesse St. James and Rachel Berry meet at a talent competition just after his thirteenth birthday. He is inpressed by the young girl and they form a close friendship, until tragedy hits and Rachel loses her best friend. When they find one another again will they be able to get back to the friendship they once had, will it become more, or will things have changed too much?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Jesse St. James and Rachel Berry meet at a talent competition just after his thirteenth birthday. He is inpressed by the young girl and they form a close friendship, until tragedy hits and Rachel loses her best friend. When they find one another again will they be able to get back to the friendship they once had, will it become more, or will things have changed too much?

Let me know what you think. ... I do not have an update timeline set because real life tends to get in the way but feedback always inspires me to write more. Sorry for any grammer mistakes I try to catch what I can. I have an idea of where I want this story to go and it will loosly follow the premise of the show but something will be different and Jesse will be ooc sometime.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything affiliated with Glee. I love the relationship and think it's a lot of fun to play with.

* * *

The Erie County Fair in Sandusky Ohio was by no means the largest fair in the state, nor was this event, which was primarily, focused on agriculture a place one would go to find some of the states most talented children and teenagers, but the talent showcase and competition held over three nights had become increasingly popular in the last few years.

The competition had become more popular because each contestant was required to actually audition as opposed to simply filling out an entry form. The first day of competition would narrow down from thirty kids aging from 10 to 18. There would be three categories, singing, dancing, and singing/dancing. After the first day of competition only five competitors from each category would move on to narrow down to the top nine who would compete on the final day where the winners would then be announced as first place singer, dancer, and combined. Then the announcement for top overall would be made.

The top overall award was the goal for a young vibrant girl who would not allow herself to accept anything but the best. Ten years old Rachel Barbara Berry had known from the time she was a toddler that she was meant to be a star. The first time she had seen a Broadway show was at the age of three when her fathers had taken her to the revival of Annie. The entire experience had stuck with her and she knew that there was no future for her that did not include the lights, stages, and applause of Broadway. From that moment on she had soaked up all things Broadway, and done everything she could to reach her goals.

This competition was just another stepping-stone on her way to stardom. She knew this was her first year being allowed to compete and that she was one of the youngest competitors, but she would be walking away the overall winner. The dark haired olive skinned girl had finished setting up her stage case while her daddy was hanging her up her dress. She loved her stage case, a gift from her dads for her birthday six months prior, it was a black case that when opened formed a vanity. It had a mirror surrounded by lights and a make-up organizer with legs that extended from the bottom. Rachel had decorated her case with her signature gold stars.

"Rachel dear, now that you are all set for tonight would you like to go explore the fair grounds for a bit? You could get a snow cone and maybe see some of the animals?" Her dad Hiram asked.

The ten year old looked at her dad in sheer disbelief. "Dad how could you even suggest such a thing? Not only do I need to finish my hair and make-up. I have to go through my breathing exercises, _and_ even though I have no concern about my song choice I would like to run through it once more. _Besides _the syrup from the snow cone and hay in those barns will only mess with my vocal chords and sinuses and I will not allow my performance to suffer."

"She's right you know dear." Leroy Berry stepped into the tent that had been set up for the contestants and where it seemed that his daughter would be until it was her time on stage. "Our little diva is going to be the youngest contestant to win this competition."

"Well naturally." Rachael beamed at her dads "Dad, Daddy, you can go look around if you like I don't mind."

"Alright our little star, you do your thing. Dad and I will be sure to be front row center. Break a leg." Leroy bent to kiss his daughter's forehead then waited for his husband to do the same before leaving the tent.

The family of three had not noticed the young man across the tent. He sat on a mat stretching his legs while looking over sheet music. While he remained focused on his tasks he was able to catch bits of the conversation the diverse family was having. He couldn't help but smirk at the simple yet slightly arrogant reply the girl gave her… fathers when the subject of winning the competition was discussed.

This pint sized little girl believed she had the power, experience, or talent to beat people up to eight years her senior? _Huh and people call me cocky_. He himself had been competing since he was six years old and had won nearly every competition he had entered. The few that he did not win had nothing to do with talent or ability but more to do with experience or um "life changes." A few months ago just before his thirteenth birthday his voice had begun to change. He had not been happy when in the middle of a performance he squeaked like a rubber mouse. He had competed once more after that and when the same thing happened he decided to take some time off, focusing solely on dancing until the change in his voice began to even out. Now after a few weeks the squeaks had stopped, he spent some time getting used to the notes he could no longer comfortably hit and the ones that he now had no problem with, and felt confident in his ability to blow his competition away.

If this little girl thought she was going to best him in any aspect of this contest she was sorely mistaken. A woman who had spent half her life on stage had trained him. At the age of one (or so he had been told) he had been sitting in his playpen next to his mother's piano while she practiced her latest composition. When she noticed his smile at the sounds of the instrument decided that one is never too young to learn.

Trained in opera, violin, and piano, Sophia St. James nee Barrett, had fallen in love with music at a young age and while her parents were not the most wealthy of people they did all they could to encourage her talent. She attended Julliard's junior courses and upon her graduation began her career with the New York Philharmonic. She would most likely still be playing with them had she not met Robert St. James

Robert was running the Pittsburgh branch of his father's very successful construction company. SJ Construction was started as a small building company in Akron, Ohio by Robert's grandfather and had grown in to a large development company that handled everything from design to construction. Robert had been living in Pittsburgh since he had graduated Ohio State University the previous year and was quickly making a name for himself as a savvy businessman that did his grandfather's legacy proud.

Sophia's father had worked for SJ Construction for years as a foreman. Sophia had come home from New York for a long weekend and decided to surprise her father at the job site. That was the day that she would meet the love of her life and father of her wonderful child. Sophia and Robert maintained a long distance relationship for a year, made easier by the financial freedom of being a St. James.

After that year Sophia moved home and married Robert, she knew she would miss her time with the Philharmonic but she compromised by occasionally working with the Pittsburgh symphony orchestra, she also found that she had a talent for composing. A year later their son arrived and the couple believed they could not have been happier.

As time passed Sophia spent as much time encouraging her son's obvious talent as she did on her own career. Robert too loved his son fiercely and while proud of his musical ability had hoped to foster a love of business in him as well. This was made difficult as he would often find himself away for days at a time dealing with business issues as the company grew even more successful. While life was not perfect and the boy sometimes wished his father was around more often the three members of the St .James family were truly happy.

The older his son got the more clear it became that his true passion lay in all things musical. Robert did not discourage this passion but remained steadfast that developing interest in other things (such as business) was not a bad thing either. While his son would have happily spent every spare moment learning something new about music, he had begun playing piano on his own at the age of three, dancing and singing at four, learning the guitar at five, Robert also pushed him to other pursuits regardless of any protest that may arise.

Sophia understood where her husband was coming from but tried to remind him that their little boy was just that, little. There would be time to figure out what his future would truly hold. She loved watching her baby perform it had become more satisfying to her than performing herself.

"Hey green eyes," his mother called as she entered the contestants' tent. "I think that's enough prep for you. Why don't we go walk around maybe even ride a ride or two?"

He looked up at her from his position on his mat and smiled. "Mom we only have like an hour before the competition starts. I should really run through things one more time."

His mother rolled her eyes "If you are not prepared by now you should not be getting on that stage. I know you're nervous…" she held up her hand before he could interrupt. "Yes you do get nervous you can tell yourself and everyone else otherwise but I'm your mother, I know better." She stuck her tongue out at him and smiled as he laughed. "You'll do wonderfully as always now come have some fun with your mother."

"Sure mom" he stood up and smirked. His mother noticed her son's green eyes drift toward they tiny little thing across the tent.

"I see another contestant has arrived, have you introduced yourself?" She asked the teen aged son.

He rolled his eyes as only a recently turned thirteen year old boy can and replied quietly "Mom she's competition! I want to win, not make friends with the enemy. Besides she's just a kid it's not like she'll make it past the first round." He did not notice the way the young girls head tilted as she listened discretely to their conversation or the way his mother's eyes narrowed at his statement. "I've never seen her at any other competitions and I would surely remember if she was any kind of threat. Not to mention I would remember someone who has two _dads"_

"Jesse Robert St. James! There are so many things wrong with the words that just came from your mouth. First of all I do not care what your father tells you these competitions _I _allow you to attend are not about winning. There is no enemy here. I only allow you to compete because I believe it is best for you to learn and grow as a performer by seeing others who have worked as hard if not harder than you. The _only_competition or _enemy_ there ever is, is yourself! You set your own bar and should always strive to pass that bar. If someone else is better than you it simply means you set your bar too low. Secondly you are the most amazingly talented young man I have ever seen, biased as I may be, but you of all people should know age has no bearing on talent." She watched as her son took a deep breath and knew her words were getting through. "Finally a person's family dynamics mean nothing; neither your father nor I have raised you to be critical of the way a person chooses to live their life."

Slowly he raised his head shame shining in his eyes. "I'm sorry, and I didn't mean it like that, about her dads I mean. I just meant I've never met anyone with same sex parents before, it's something I would remember."

At this point the girl decided it was time to introduce herself and make a few things clear. "My dads have been together since college." Mother and son turned to the angelic yet icy voice. "They were not easily accepted especially in the town that I've grown up in, but they love each other. I know it's strange but it's all I know and I know they love me more than anything because of what they did to have me."

She quickly told the story of how her dads chose a surrogate and why she does not know exactly who her biological father is. She then went on to state that while she may be young she had yet to lose a competition and that his belief that because he had never seen her before was silly. She had never seen him before but that did not mean he could not be somewhat talented.

Holding out her hand she stated "I'm Rachel Barbara Berry, remember my name it will be in lights on Broadway one day."

Sophia smiled widely at the little starlet and held back a laugh at her son's flabbergasted expression. She decided to rescue the poor boy from his dazed state and introduced both herself and her son before inviting the girl to enjoy a bit of the fair with them. She received a polite "No thank you, Mrs. St. James" in return along with an explanation that she has a pre performance routine she needs to finish not to mention that this is where she told her dads she would be.

An hour and a half later Jesse found himself standing on the side of the stage as Rachael was being introduced. He was anxious to see what this little ball of energy and confidence was capable of. He had gotten a chance to speak with her a little more before the competition began and found her to be, a little odd, very interesting, and extremely mature for her age. He smiles as he remembers her answer when he questioned her age.

"_I'm ten and a half, my birthday is in December, but my dads have always said I'm an old soul and wise beyond my years. I think it's because they've always been open with me and allowed me to explore life as I please…. And well I have never had many friends, even people who have known me my whole life, my dads even longer, they still look at me as strange because of my family. Add that to my ambition and talent well…" she shrugged like it was simply to be expected. _

He watched as Rachael took the stage in her little red and white polka dot dress. She raised her head confidently before opening her mouth and letting the first verse of _Tomorrow _fill the air. Jesse's was impressed, this tiny girl had talent and stage presence but he wasn't sure it would be enough to win a competition were you had to be talented to even get here.

After she took a bow to an appreciative crowd she made her way off the stage giving him a small smile and a nod that he knew to mean good luck.

Jesse took the stage, his back facing the crowd; he had entered the competition as a combo competitor. He would be singing Phil Collins' _In the air tonight._ His private dance instructor had choreographed a lyrical/jazz number to accompany the music beautifully. He nailed the number, he did not even need to hear the applause of the crowd to know, he could feel it in his bones. It was the feeling he could never completely explain to his father when he tried to give him a reason why he loved performing so much. The stage is his home.

Both Rachael and Jesse moved on to the second day of competition. After the semi finalist were announced Sophia and Jesse made their way to where the Berry family were, both fathers hugging their daughter. After introductions the five decided to have dinner together.

It seemed this group would remain close over the next three days. The adults spent their time enjoying the fair, talking about careers, and what it is like to be the parents of obviously rising stars. As for the two performers, they spent their time discussing anything and everything about the world of theater. Rachael spent her time educating Jesse on all things Broadway. (by the time she was satisfied he had to admit that there was no way his already vast amount of Broadway knowledge could rival hers.) In turn Jesse explained his love of rock and power ballads and a bit shyly admitted his interest in opera (thanks to his mother).

Over the three days Jesse learned that Rachael would be a force to compete against. Her semi final rendition of _Castle on a Cloud_ from _Les Miserables _was beautiful and so far above her performance of _Tomorrow. _Nothing, however, could have prepared him for the power in her voice as she sang _Don't rain on my parade. _It was like watching a mini Barbara on stage, the only thing lacking in any of her performances was the emotional depth needed to 'sell' the songs.

He told her as much after it was announced that he had been voted the overall winner while Rachel had been given the honor of top singer. She had been angry and outraged at the "Judges obvious lack of intelligence."

"Rachael, you need to calm down. You were amazing but there can only be one winner. You did win though, you do realize this right?"

"No _you_ won!" she stomped her food and Jesse fought to keep in his laugh.

"Oh stop being a drama queen!" he threw his hands up before continuing. "You beat out twenty-eight other talented performers. You just made some poor choices." He could see she wanted to interrupt but he pressed on. "You have a beautiful voice and perfect pitch, but you're only ten."

She went to interrupt again and he rolled his eyes. "_Sorry_ ten and a half the point is the songs you sang, with the possible exception of _Tomorrow_ require a connection with the song to truly pull it off. You haven't had the chance to experience enough to feel or at the very least act those feelings."

She stood with her arms crossed and sarcastically. "Alright Superstar, are you telling me you have enough life experience to 'connect' with every song?"

He smirked but shook his head. "No I don't but I've taken a lot of acting classes, I always try to pick songs that make me feel something so even if I can't relate I have a reaction to the music itself and if I want to sing something that I have trouble connecting to emotionally… I dance."

He finished his statement with a wink and Rachel could not help but to roll her eyes. She and Jesse spent the rest of the afternoon talking about song choices, and Rachel's concerns that while a capable dancer she knew that singing would always be her strongest helped her see that she could become a triple threat but she needed to begin to focus more on acting and dancing since her singing was already her strongest quality.

The five met the next morning for breakfast before they would all return home. Jesse and Rachel exchanged emails, and phone numbers promising to keep in touch and both looking forward to competing again next year.

* * *

The summer passed quickly for the two budding stars but they found themselves communicating practically every day. If it were not a phone call it was an email, or on their very busy days a simple myspace comment.

Jesse would tell Rachel all about how excited he was to begin Sewickley Academy's middle school. He was planning on joining their A Capella group because he thought it would be a good idea to begin performing more often with a group, but would still compete in solo competitions. He also told her how he had to promise his father he would join the Model UN. _"he thinks it's important to be knowledgeable about world events and politics to be a good businessman." _This was a concession Jesse had to make if he wanted to be allowed to take two new acting classes after school.

Rachel told him about the new performing arts classes she had enrolled in. _"I took your advice and am trying to become more of a triple threat." _She did not talk much about school since she would still be in elementary school and thought that it would most likely bore Jesse.

Once school began their interaction decreased somewhat as they both had classes and extracurriculars. They still made time to critique performances the other would post. They would make sure to talk at least once a week. Rachel's sarcastic nickname from the summer had stuck and she began referring to Jesse as Superstar more and more often. Jesse laughed at this. _"Well if I get a nickname you need one too and since you truly are a rising star, I can't think of anything better than Starlet." _

Rachel felt that Jesse was truly her best friend, well only true friend. There were some others in her dance and voice classes that she spoke to and occasionally spent time with but most of them had a hard time accepting her. She was the most talented and outshined everyone that competed against her. It seemed that the more her talents increased the more of an oddity she became. Having two dads and refusing to become a cookie cutter girl did not help matters. Rachel knew her dream and while the other girls were showing interests in cheerleading, shopping, and fashion she stayed focused on her goals.

Jesse too thought of Rachel as a best friend. His experience however, was much different than hers. Rachel lived in a small town compared to where Jesse grew up. His hometown may have been small but they lived just outside the city and that meant the jealousy that came along with a small talent pool was less. Jesse was a standout in all of his endeavors but there was more opportunity for those with similar interests. Also he was at a different stage in life; one where his confidence and charm allowed him to be well liked and quite popular. He was recognized more often for his talent and was enjoying the attention, although his mother would often give him extra chores just to puncture a hole in his growing ego.

Rachel never mentioned her social struggles to Jesse. He was always so happy when they spoke, that is if he wasn't having a fit over some faux pas someone in his drama class made. _"Honestly Jesse you are a bigger drama queen than me! So this boy isn't a fan of Sondheim he is entitled to his opinion. Calm down Superstar." _She tried to tell herself she did not confide in him because he would argue that her whining and ranting made her the bigger drama queen. She knew though that she has a fear of Jesse realizing she was still just a kid and didn't fit in his life.

They did talk about some serious issues. A few times when Rachel had called and Jesse was not home she would talk to Sophia. She was a wonderful woman and encouraged and nurtured Rachel just as she did for Jesse. Once when she was speaking to Sophia, Jesse came in and found it amusing that Rachel was having such a long conversation with his mother. Later that night she explained that while her dads were great it was nice to have a woman to talk to as well. When he asked if she knew anything of her biological mother or if she ever tried to find her she gave him the most honest answer she could. _"No and I really never thought to ask. I don't want my dads to be upset and besides I love my family the way it is. Maybe one day I'll want to know more about her but I don't see that happening for a very long time." _

Jesse also confided in her when he would get frustrated with his father. Robert was still accepting of Jesse's interests in musical theater but was much harder on his son than his wife. _"Honestly dad's great but he just doesn't get it. Yes when I compete I want to win but I want to make myself better even more, and losing is a way to learn my weaknesses. Mom wants me to win as well and I usually do but for dad it's like there is no other option. Sometimes I wonder if he'll make me quit if I don't always come out on top." _

Rachel could hear sadness in Jesse's voice as he spoke. She tried to make him feel better explaining that Robert probably just wanted to protect his son, seeing someone you love try and fail is never easy. This did not help because Jesse insisted that he was beginning to believe that his dad would prefer if performing was simply a hobby and not a life dream. He truly believed if it was not for his father's love for his mother and the desire to see her happy he would not even attend a single performance. Sophia had tried to explain to him that Robert had never felt the thrill of being on stage so he could not possibly understand. She told him that his dad loved him and was so proud but had lived in a world of business for too long his all or nothing attitude was one of the reasons that made him successful.

Before they knew it almost a full year had past and it was one month before the competition in Sandusky. Rachel was bouncing with excitement. She was going to enter as a combo competitor this year and be dancing ballet to _Favorite Things_ from sound of music for her first piece.

"Oh Jesse I can't wait to see you and I can't wait for you to see the amazing arrangement I have! It's going to be so much fun and then after _Favorite Things_ you're going to be so surprised to hear what I have planned for the semi finals. You never did tell me what are you going to perform? I mean I'm sure you have something amazing prepared."

Jesse sighed once she stopped gushing and waited for his response. He had been dreading this conversation for the last week. "Rach, I… um" he hesitated.

"Jesse you sound nervous? What's the matter Superstar I thought you never got nervous" Rachel teased.

"I'm not going to be at the competition this year." He blurted out before he could lose his nerve.

"What!" she shrieked in true Rachel Berry dramatic fashion. Jesse was prepared for this and had pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Starlet, I'm sorry really I am." He said softly. "Do you remember that performing arts camp in New York I told you about? Well I'm going and I will not be back in time for the competition. This is a huge opportunity I can't miss it you _know_ that."

Rachel was not happy but she accepted the situation. She did know he could not pass this up. The camp was run by some amazing instructors and even had some stage and screen stars run workshops. Rachel would love to have been able to attend but the cost was much higher than her fathers could spend. Her family was well off but with the funds already allotted to her training a camp like that was just not something that was doable. Jesse promised to contact her as soon as he returned and expected to hear how she had wiped out all the other competition and came home with the overall title.

She did win the overall, and he did call her when he returned but the call was not immediate. She had waited five days after he was supposed to be back before he finally called. He was naturally happy for her but insisted he did not doubt she would be victorious. Their conversation that night was long but awkward.

Rachel filled him in on all the happenings while he was away, mainly the competition and the trip her fathers had taken her on to see West Side Story. Jesse told her all about camp and learning from people who knew what it was like to be on stage at the Great White Way. What made things awkward was Jesse.

At camp Jesse was surrounded by like minded teenagers. He connected with them better than even his friends from home. He also began to realize that girls like guys who could dance and sing, there truly is a reason why boy bands are so popular. Rachel was not surprised by this. She may still be a preteen but she knew Jesse was cute and talented. Apparently he was beginning to think that there was more to his talent that simply becoming a star. When he told her about these things she could not help but roll her eyes and mutter 'boys' under her breath.

What Rachel did not realize at the time was that this was the beginning of the end of their friendship. They would still communicate in some way every week but what had been hour long conversations or pages long email had become little more than a short email or myspace post. When she was lucky she would get a twenty minute phone conversation. This was by no means her choice and Jesse was not pushing her away on purpose. Honestly he had not even realized what was happening, he had just been so busy with school and all of his extracurricular activities and… girls that he just did not have the same amount of free time as Rachel. When they did talk he found it hard to tell her everything. He did not know how to talk to her about the group bowling or movie date he had gone on or how he had to get a suit for the middle school prom. He did call her and spend a good amount of time on the phone with her for her twelfth birthday. He told her that she had better remember to bring his birthday gift to Sandusky since he did plan on attending this year, would have just turned fifteen, and would most certainly have her present with him.

This however would not happen because Jesse's fifteenth birthday in March would be the last time he and Rachel would speak other than a few emails and post after his birthday. A little over a month after his birthday Rachel had tried to call him and the phone went straight to voicemail. There was no return call and after a week had passed she tried sending him an email which also went unanswered. Another week passed and a frustrated Rachel signed on to myspace only to find that Jesse had not logged on for over a week but what had truly hurt her was the last post he had made.

'Thank you everyone for your support during this time. My mother would be honored to know she was so loved. I'm sorry if you try to contact me and I don't respond but this is going to be my last post for a while. I just need some time."

Rachel was crying without even realizing it. She quickly did a search for news on Sophia St. James only to find that during a sever rain the woman had hydroplaned and lost control of her car. According to news reports she hit a tree road barrier and died upon impact. Her daddy found her staring at her computer screen in disbelief, tears silently flowing down her face. When he saw the article she was reading he knew her heart was breaking for her friend. She went to grab the phone to call again but he stopped her. Leroy gently took his baby girl in his arms and told her that if Jesse was asking for time she should respect that, he would get in contact when he was ready. Rachel nodded but it was killing her inside to be helpless against her friend's pain.

Rachel did as her daddy told her and gave Jesse time hoping that he would call soon so she could help him through this time. He never called. After a month of silence Rachel logged on to myspace again only to find his page deleted. She emailed him and called only to find both accounts closed. She could not understand what happened and had worried something may have happened to him as well. Her dads helped her understand that there could be any number of easons for this to have happened and even did a web search to show her that if anything serious had happened it would have been in the news.

Eventually Rachel had to accept that the only way she would hear from her Superstar again was if he made contact first.


	2. Chapter 2

Just an fyi:

Jesse is a roughly 2.5 years older than Rachel. Rachel is 15 until just after Sectionals while Jesse will turn 19 around the time of regionals. This may not be accurate but I wanted Jesse to be a teenager when they met to work better with the story.

The time line for the school year runs something like this School begins the last week of August/first week of September. Sectionals is in early November, Regionals is in mid March and Nationals are the week before the end of school in which is around the first week of June.

I didn't go into much detail here about sectionals and after this chapter some things from the show will be tweaked. Events will follow the basic premiss of the show but Rachel and Jesse knowing eachother before makes it necessary for things to happen a bit differently.

Thanks to those who have read, reviewed or followed, I hope you're enjoying this story and I love getting feed back.

Disclamier: I do not own anything affiliated with the show Glee or any songs from the show or mentioned in these chapters.

* * *

Rachel entered the halls of Mckinley High watching those around her. She had become accustomed to keeping an eye out for those who were higher on the 'high school food chain'. She hoped to make it through the day slushie free, she had enough on her mind that worrying about changing clothes in the middle of her day was not something she wanted on her to do list.

This year had been crazy already; she had done everything she could to ensure Ryerson was gone and the glee club had finally reached a point where they could truly compete. She had hoped with a larger interest in glee her social status would rise but that was not the case, and honestly she knew the others in glee were not truly accepting of her. They did not hide their jealousy of her superior talent well, even though they tried to cover this by insisting their refusal to accept her as the obvious leader of the group was simply because they were equally if not more talented. Her feelings for Finn were making her crazy but that could not be helped, she simply knew they would be good together. She thought he would come to see this as well but he was so conflicted about Quinn and the baby. Still, she did consider them friends and regardless of the issues they may have she knew that leading a previously unknown glee club to a national title would help her get noticed, and being noticed mattered when you were on your way to being a Broadway star.

These were the reasons she truly did feel guilty for the trouble she had caused with 'babygate' as the other glee members had begun to call the blow up that had happened earlier in the week. Now she may have not only lost her chance with Finn, since he was completely messed up over Quinn and Puck's deception but they may have also lost their chance to win sectionals. They had recruited Jacob Ben Isreal for goodness sake. Thankfully they didn't really need him to sing, he was only there to give them the numbers required to compete. Knowing they could still compete was one thing but losing their male lead was not something that could be easily overcome.

Why could the others not be professional about this and set their issues aside? They had a show to do regardless of what else was going on. Apparently she was the only one in glee who understood the meaning of the phrase "the show must go on." Even though Finn was the only one who had quit the rest of the club was so engrossed in the situation they had completely lost focus. Rachel sighed _'Why is it that no one understands what it takes to be a star? Even around people who claim to love performing they still do not understand me.' _Since she was little no one had truly understood her drive or ambition. There had only ever been one person who honestly related to her.

She did not allow herself to think of him often but Jesse St. James was the only other person whom she had ever met that thought the same way as her. However that was the past. She had not heard from him in over three years. Oh she was aware of him and what he had been doing. Knowing all possible competition was vital and there was no bigger competition than Vocal Adrenaline. She had seen some of their performances on youtube but had not studied them the way she should have. Seeing Jesse on stage with those soulless automatons was hard. He was like a completely different person, still amazingly talented but nothing like the boy she knew.

It had taken a long time to give up the hope that Jesse would contact her but eventually the acceptance came. She was sure he had to have had a reason for cutting her out but it was a reason she would likely never know. The thought had crossed her mind that she may get to see or speak to him again due to show choir competitions but then realized he probably did not even remember her. No, all Jesse St. James was to her now was a block in the road to a national title and she would not allow her memory of a friendship built mostly over phone and internet communication keep her from her goals.

Rachel finally made it to her first class thankfully in her original clothes. As she listened to the teacher drone on about the some historical event she could not help but roll her eyes. She hated the stupid rule that any member of an extracurricular group had to attend all classes the day of the event or would not be allow to compete. This did not count for her last class of the day as the entire club was excused because they would need that time to travel to the competition venue. Rachel valued her education but knew all classes today would be wasted on her. There was nothing she could focus on besides their set list and dance routines.

Finally after seemingly running through songs and dance steps a million times in her mind it was time to board the bus that would take them to their first major competition. Everyone in glee was well aware of the other clubs who would be taking the stage against them. Honestly the entirety of glee felt they could win even with the absence of Finn. Rachel's main concern at the moment was a very green looking Jacob Ben Isreal. She hoped that he could pull himself together long enough to not vomit on stage.

The confidence New Directions carried into the auditorium quickly diminished. The other schools obviously knew their setlist. The girls from Jane Addams had even come out in wheelchairs for _Proud Mary. _This was not good, "Everyone to the green room now!" Rachel ordered. It was a testament to how dumbstruck the others were when they quickly stood and headed out of the auditorium with no arguments.

As Rachel walked into the green room she could see that everyone was falling apart. It was obvious their setlist had been leaked so there was no need to state this even though there were some who felt it needed to be said. There was also anger, disbelief, and defeat expressed. Rachel was also upset but again 'The show must go on' and again it seemed as if she was the only who grasped this mentality.

She did her best to gain control of the room and once there was a semblance of order they began to discuss how to handle the situation. Everyone agreed they would need to come up with something new. They had done enough of Mr. Schue's assignments that they would be able to pull something together, once they got past ideas like Arties "Perhaps I could improvise some of my Def Poetry Jams."

They had decided to reprise their performance of _Somebody to love _and Finn had surprisingly showed up, much to the relief of Jacob Ben Isreal. He had a song that would work well for their second selection although it would require a lot of improv. Rachel thought it was only fair for Mercedes to choose another ballad because she was the one chosen to be the soloist. But Mercedes disagreed. "Look Rachel, the truth is; you're the best singer we've got.

"As much that it hurts me to admit it, and it does... shes right. Rachel is our star. If anyone is gonna belt it on the fly, it should be her." She was surprised when Kurt agreed. Maybe they did appreciate her talent after all.

"Well, I do have something that I've been working on since I was four." I know I can pull this off. I'm not some little ten year old girl anymore.

* * *

Jesse St. James slumped in his seat rubbing his temples and wondering when the torture would end. This was absolutely ridiculous, Vocal Adrenaline is the best show choir in the state. There was no real need to 'scope out the competition'. He glanced to his right to see his coach rubbing the back of her neck and wondered if these performances were causing her as much pain as they did him. Next to Shelby was Andrea Cohen, being the dance captain of VA meant she was drug along for this little trip as well. He did not know why Shelby insisted Andrea tag along. She sat there filing her nails with her ear buds in like she did not have a care in the world. Then again it is not like there had been much in the way of dance performance to notice anyway.

Did Shelby honestly think that the mediocre schools could possibly propose a threat to VA? His team had been unstoppable for three years and that was not about to change with him holding the lead. In all his time at Carmel, all of the performances he had done, he had never found anyone that could match his talent. He wanted to ask Shelby if they could leave. Their time here was clearly being wasted, but he knew Shelby would not be willing to leave. Shelby did not believe in simply winning, she wanted to crush all competition and leave no doubt what team was the best. From the moment he was enrolled in Carmel and introduced to Shelby Corcoran he knew exactly why his father liked her.

Halfway through the current choir's set he vaguely noticed a girl stand and order her team backstage. From the look on her face and the expressions of the others he could tell something was clearly wrong. _Ah drama, how much fun_. Jesse chuckled but otherwise ignored the goings on with the team that was still waiting to perform.

Finally the deaf kids ended their set, leaving Jesse to wonder how they even ended up in a singing competition to begin with. Sure they were heartwarming but this was a competition not a telethon. He thought that is was truly a sad state of affairs when it looked as if the delinquents from that girl's school would win these sectionals, unless the next choir had someone with a least an average amount of talent.

The music began for the final group and Jesse bit back a groan. As if this day had not been grueling enough he now had to listen to someone butcher Barbara. He felt a small twitch of his lips as a memory came to him from what felt like a life time ago, a little powerhouse who he believed one day would rival Barbara. Maybe if he closed his eyes he could hear her instead of whoever thought they could pull off this song.

It was that memory that kept him from reacting at first but by the second line he had whipped his head around so fast he was sure he had pulled a muscle. He _knew _that voice. It was stronger and more mature and the girl belting out the lyrics was most certainly not the little ten year old he remembered but there was no mistaking one Miss Rachel Barbara Berry. For the first time all evening he sat straight in his seat not wanting to miss a single moment of this performance. He was so focused on her that he did not notice the expression on his coach's face

Watching Rachel up on stage, in the spotlight, he felt his stomach give a lurch. She was beautiful up there. Anyone watching could see the passion she held for performing. It was the same passion they shared and allowed them to build a friendship. The smile that had formed on his face slipped, he had let go of their friendship, had pushed anyone who knew that side of him away, and replaced that passion with nothing more than a drive to win. He was different now, the connection they had would never be the same.

As the New Directions finished their set he shook off his thoughts of the past and fixed his expression with the showface he had perfected over the years. Before the applause had stopped Shelby was standing obviously ready to leave.

"Well, no reason to stick around it's obvious who the winners are. You two can stay if you like but I have things to take care of." She stepped around Jesse and exited the auditorium quickly not even giving her students a chance to respond.

Andrea made her way over to him a hopeful look on her face. "I'm leaving too. I have some steps I want to work on before rehearsal tomorrow. Unless you want to get a coffee or something? I mean Shelby's right no reason to stick around and it will give us a chance to spend some time together."

Jesse sighed. Andrea had been trying to gain his interest since sophomore year. They had a brief relationship, if you could call it that. Jesse did not really do relationships. His time was too limited, between VA, academics, and is personal training. Over the years his relationships had come to consist of hook ups, occasionally he would find time to make something last for a few weeks. The only reason Andrea and his tryst had lasted as long as it did (3 weeks) was because they had spent so much time together with VA. The reality of it was that he did not have the time or inclination to focus on personal relationship they drew his focus away from winning and winning is what he had to do.

"Sorry Andrea, I'm calling it a night, I have a full day tomorrow." He watched as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh yes the great Jesse St. James cannot possibly deviate from his routine. What is it now, workout, acting class, dance class, vocal coaching all before noon right? Honestly Jesse everyone knows you don't need that much practice."

Jesse shrugged and threw a smirk over his shoulder as they made their way to the doors. "I know I'm the best, thanks for the validation. But I want to stay the best."

Andrea tried to hide it but the rejection hurt. Over the years she reminded herself that Jesse never got truly close to anyone. She knew her time with him was longer than most of his romantic entanglements. One would think that his arrogance would be a turn off but he was one of the few who could back up that arrogance with real talent and that made it all the more appealing.

Once he saw Andrea to her car Jesse began to make his way to his Jeep. He loved his car; some of the other senior members of VA had the idea of buying matching Range Rovers. They thought it looked intimidating to show off their wealth and status, but Jesse had chosen this Jeep when he was sixteen and had no desire to give it up. It was one of the few things he had gotten without too much of a fight from his father.

Before he had made it across the parking lot he stopped. Leaving right now did not feel right. He knew that Rachel most likely hated him for cutting off contact the way he did. He knew she probably wanted nothing to do with him. There was a good chance she did not even remember him. Knowing these things he still could not make himself leave, he had to see her.

* * *

Rachel stood alone in the green room. She had told the others to head to the bus and she would join them in a moment. They had won; she had gotten a standing ovation. Despite throwing together a setlist at the last moment New Directions would be moving on to regionals.

"Rachel Barbara Berry, you surprise me." Rachel spun around at the sound of the cocky yet amused masculine voice. "I didn't think you'd use that song in another competition, but I must say I'm impressed. Your performance is still lacking Barbara's emotional depth but… you did well up there.

Her mouth had dropped open in surprise. Standing in front of her with a smirk on his face and eyes sparkling in amusement was the last person she had expected to see. Sure earlier in the day she had a vague thought that they would see each other again but only as competition. "Jesse?" his name left her lips in a surprised whisper. She quickly composed herself, not allowing her emotions to take over. He had left her, disappeared without a word and now he shows up here and feels like he can offer up opinions of her performance like it is a common occurrence?

"What are you doing here?" she asked as neutrally as possible.

Jesse stepped into the room forcing himself to remain composed. He had seen the look on her face when she turned around and he had see how quickly she shut down fixing on a showface that rivaled his own. He would admit, if only to himself, that hurt.

"You really were great up there Rachel. It's good to see you again." He answered ignoring her question.

Rachel huffed. "I know I was wonderful and the rest of the group did great as well. I don't need you to tell me that! Why are you here Jesse?"

He shrugged and leaned back against the wall crossing his arms. It seemed his thoughts were right; she wanted nothing to do with him. "First of all, you never minded me giving my opinion. And secondly your glee club did well but they were far from great. As to why I'm here; we were doing what any good show choir should do, checking out our potential competition. I'm Vocal Adrenaline lead. From what I saw we really have nothing to worry about, even with you singing lead New Directions isn't a threat to us."

"I know you're the lead of Vocal Adrenaline I don't need you to tell me that." He did not know why this surprised him, Rachel was as driven as he and she would have found out all she could about other show choirs in the state. He realized that it was not surprise he was feeling but hurt. She had known where he was but never tried to contact him. _Why would she? You're the one who ignored and avoided her. _He had made his way fully into the room now and was standing next to the desk where here things were laid out.

Rachel continued as Jesse turned his back to her and began fiddling with her things on the desk. "New Directions may not be the soulless automaton machine that Vocal Adrenaline is but that gives us an edge. I remember someone once saying that the only competition there is, is yourself and competing against others is how you learn to be better. Well I already know how we're better. We have heart."

Jesse closed his eyes in pain when she practically quoted his mother. He bit back his sharp retort and allowed her to continue. He had obviously hurt her and Rachel was a dramatic person. "You used to have heart Jesse. I've seen clips of your performances and that isn't there anymore. As for your opinion well, that is something I simply no longer desire."

When it was clear she had finished he turned to her. "Your right, things change and people change. I probably shouldn't have come here but I just didn't feel right not saying hello."

He began to make his way to the door but she could not stop from making one last comment. "But not saying goodbye is something completely different."

He only paused for a moment his shoulders rise and fall as if preparing to say something back. No reply came, he simply continued walking away. Rachel took a deep breath after he was gone. She could feel tears welling in her eyes and she fought them back.

"Rachel we're ready to go are you all set?" Kurt had come to find her but had paused when he heard her speaking to someone. He did not know who the guy was and had only caught the tail end of their conversation but he knew that the encounter had shaken Rachel even if she tried not to show it.

"Yeah Kurt. Just let me grab my things." As she went to pick up her cell she noticed a piece of the sheet music Finn had brought with him. On the top was a phone number and a simple message of 'Call me, I miss you'. She rolled her eyes before hastily picking up the papers and shoving them in her bag. "Alright let's go. Did the others decide where we're going to celebrate?"

"Yeah Breadsticks." Kurt chuckled, "Like there is anywhere else to go in Lima. Hey Rachel who was that guy I saw leave here earlier he looked familiar?"

"Oh no one really. Just someone I knew a long time ago." She answered quickly hoping to brush it off as no big deal. Really it was a big deal. She had known Jesse was different. She could see the changes in his performances. This little meeting had only served to prove that to her but she had thought she'd seen a glimpse of the old Jesse as well. Just before he left, when he apologized for even coming there was something in his eyes that made her wonder if her friend was still there behind that emotionless mask.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok so I have to warn you, I will not always update this quickly. It's the weekend so I have the time to write but tomorrow it's back to work which means slower chapters. Sorry for being a tease with the quick updates.

Thanks again for the interest in this story, it has made me want to write and do St. Berry Justice. Happy Reading everyone!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything affiliated with Glee or any songs mentioned in this story.

* * *

The celebration at Breadstix was much better than Rachel had expected. There was still clearly a tension between Puck, Quinn, and Finn but having them sit away from one another helped. Mr. Schue met them at the restaurant beaming at all of them with pride. He and Ms. Pillsbury sat at the center of the table listening as everyone took a turn talking about their performance. Kurt and Mercedes were even complimentary to Rachel when they talked about her rendition of _Don't Rain on my Parade._ Santana and Britany actually seemed to be enjoying the evening, forgetting for a moment that they were not supposed to like the others at the table.

Rachel turned to her right to address Finn. "Thank you again for showing up when you did, you really did saved the day."

"No Rachel you saved the day. We really could have used any of the other songs we've done in our assignments but we needed that powerful opening. That was all you." He smiled at her and Rachel felt her heart speed up.

"What made you come back anyway?" She had been curious and to be honest she had not paid much attention to everything that was said at the time. She did remember Britney and Santana admitting to being Sue's spies but that did not really surprise her, although she had to admit she did not expect them to truly want to be there either.

"Mr. Schue actually." Finn answered. "It's like I said, I haven't forgiven Puck or Quinn but this group, well we've all worked hard and they don't deserve me to take it out on them. We all might fight and bicker but really there is no other club or team in the school that can bring together so many different people and that makes us special. I did not want to stop being part of that."

Rachel smiled up at him. This is why she liked Finn, he could have his dumb jock moments but he had a good heart. She reached over and squeezed his hand that was sitting on his knee. "Well then we need to make sure everyone realizes that." She stood up gaining the attention of everyone else at the table. "We were great tonight guys but we're going to have to be perfect for regionals. I think we should meet tomorrow and start talking about a setlist."

"No way man hands!" Santana looked at her. "This has been fun and all but I am not giving up my weekend for glee."

"Yeah come on Berry can't you just chill out, I mean we just won sectionals. Can't you let us enjoy it for a little while before you go back to being a dictator?" Puck chimed in.

Seeing the others were about to voice their agreement she quickly responded. "I don't think you all realize how much harder regionals will be. Vocal Adrenaline is our completion and I can guarantee they have been working on their routines for months." _And there is no way Jesse will slack off._

Hoping to get some support she looked to Mr. Schue but quickly saw he would not help her case. "Rachel I think everyone deserves a little down time. We can talk about a setlist sometime next week. Now I think it's time we all head out I don't think Sandy wants to stay open late tonight just for us."

Rachel huffed feeling again as if she was the only one who knew what it would take to win. She wanted to argue her point again but Finn squeezed her hand, the hand he apparently had yet to let go of. "Come on Rach, I'll give you a ride home."

On the drive home Rachel subjected Finn to a litany of reasons why they needed to begin preparing for regionals. Finn tried to keep up with everything Rachel said but he knew he missed some of her points. He also had a hard time keeping a neutral expression. Rachel was so over dramatic he did not know if he should laugh or roll his eyes. He settled for an indulgent smile because he decided she was cute when she was all worked up.

"Rachel I understand what you're saying but if it weren't for our assignments we may not have had any other routines to go out on stage with tonight." He tried placating her.

"Fine I'll concede the point but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be more prepared. Even if Mr. Schue and the others agreed on a setlist and to work solely those routines at least one day a week I would feel better."

"Listen, how about I come over tomorrow and we can start working on a setlist. Maybe we can get some ideas together to present to the others and even see if they will agree to that one day a week thing." Finn reached over the consol and grabbed her hand squeezing it encouragingly.

Rachel beamed at him. He just asked her to spend time alone, it may not be an official date but still it would be just the two of them. He had been absolutely wonderful all night and more affectionate than ever before. Maybe he was finally seeing how good they could be together. "That sounds perfect, I have ballet and acting class tomorrow how about you come over around noon I'll even make us lunch."

"Okay, but um… Rachel, can we have something other than that healthy stuff you always eat?"

Rachel's smile slipped a bit at his question. She hated when her dietary choices were not understood by the people in her life. The more she thought about it she decided it was not too much to ask. Her choices were her own and she could not expect everyone to follow her eating habits. She could make this little exception for him. It was not like it was that big of a deal for her to make two different types of food. "No problem Finn."

They had arrived at Rachel's house and said goodnight after grabbing her bags from the back seat of Finn's car. Rachel's dads weren't home but she had called them after sectionals to tell them the good news. They would be back tomorrow afternoon from a conference her daddy had to attend for work. Both her dad and daddy were thrilled for her and promised a full blown Berry family celebration when they returned.

Rachel made her way to her room and began unpacking her bags. She put her clothes into the hamper and changed out of her performance dress. That would need to be sent out to be cleaned. She set aside her old performance case, the same one she had been using since she was ten. Looking at that case reminded her of Jesse and the sheet music that was still crumpled in her bag. She smoothed out the papers and stared at the number.

For the next few days she found herself staring at the number often but never using it. She and Finn had spent a lot of time going over songs. They had come up with a few ideas but nothing really stood out. It was a start and she hoped that this would push the rest of glee to focus on regionals.

Something else that happened during her time with Finn was his proposal for a date. She had been thrilled and excitedly accepted. They had to plan on their date being Wednesday night since it was the first time during the week they were both free and Rachel had not wanted to wait for the weekend.

Her celebration with her dads was a lot of fun as well. They had cooked her favorite meal and set up a movie night featuring her favorite movies. They had done this often; it was exactly the way she wanted to celebrate. Her dads promised to clear their schedules for the night of regionals telling her they knew she would be wonderful as always.

Tuesday night found Rachel sitting at her desk working on her homework. Every so often her eyes strayed to the piece of sheet music and the number written on the top. She had considered speaking to her dads about Jesse. They would be honest with her. They would tell her their opinions but ultimately allow her to make the decision. Even knowing this she did not mention it to them and she continued to ignore the compulsion she felt to call him. She did not want to hear how great things were competing for a team like Vocal Adrenaline. She did not want to hear how nice it was to be somewhere where your talent is appreciated and praised. She did not want to hear how much better Vocal Adrenaline was compared to New Directions.

Glee had been frustrating. Everyone pitched ideas for a setlist but their ideas focused on how the songs would suit themselves. Mercedes thought that she should be allowed to sing _And I'm Telling You_ since she was unable to do so at sectionals. Kurt and Santana both thought they should have special parts in some way. Quinn most likely would have shared their opinion but as she would be heavily pregnant by that time she preferred staying out of the spotlight. Her situation and Artie's wheelchair made focusing on a dance number difficult. Mike and Brittany thought the best solution to this was to build a dance number around them and 'dumb it down' for everyone else. This was something else they could not agree upon. Rachel was irritated, regionals were not as far off as everyone seemed to believe and nothing was being accomplished.

Her date with Finn had been fantastic. After trudging through the school day and another round of disagreements and pointless performances in glee Rachel had been hoping for a better end to her day. She had gotten exactly what she hoped for. When glee ended she hurried home and changed into the outfit she had spent a few hours agonizing over throughout the week. She wanted to look perfect so she had chosen a woven plaid skirt in navy, green, and grey with a grey three quarter sleeve top and black fitted blazer. She thought it was dressier than her normal school outfits but casual enough for a normal date in Lima.

Finn had picked her up at seven o'clock as planned and was wearing his normal jeans and polo shirt with his letterman jacket. He took her to Breadstix which really was not all that surprising although she hoped he would have put a little more thought into their first date. Still, she appreciated his efforts. He held the door for her when they arrived and when they left. He had been a bit confused when she stood by her chair until she concluded he would not be pulling it out for her. She brushed that off since he was so adorable when he told her to order anything she liked from the menu.

Conversation had mostly revolved around glee. He had tried to tell her about the football team but since Rachel knew very little about the game that topic stalled quickly She told him about her private performing arts classes but was able to tell that he was not understanding her when she started using turns like pique and jete. They found their common ground with glee and while their tastes in music differed wildly she knew this was something they could build upon.

The best part of the night had been the sweet chaste kiss he gave her after walking her to her door. Yes, that kiss was what had made the date so perfect. She entered her house with a smile a mile wide saying hello to her dads and making her way to her room. She went through her nightly routine before logging onto her computer to update her facebook status. She wrote herself a post it note as a reminder that she had not uploaded any new videos to her myspace and that should be done soon. And then she noticed a new message in her facebook alerts.

When she saw who the message was from she was tempted to do nothing more than hit delete. Instead of giving into temptation she quickly opened the message.

_Hello Rachel, _

_I really hope you read this. You haven't called and I guess I can't say I'm surprised. I know the ball is in my court, it has been for years. There's so much I need to tell you, so much to explain. I don't know if I'm ready to explain everything just yet but I need you to know that letting go of our friendship wasn't a conscious decision. By the time I realized what I had done I felt like it was too late to make it right and by then so much had changed. _

_I don't know if you heard about my mom's accident, I'm sure you did and please if you didn't don't ask me for details, please I'm begging you. The thing that none of the articles printed was that I was with her. I wasn't really hurt just some bumps and bruises. My dad did everything he could to keep my name out of the news. With the fact we were one of the more wealthy families in the area and the recognition I had been getting from all of my competing the media would have been hell and none of us could have handled any more attention than we were getting already._

_After the accident and the funeral I wasn't in the best place and I threw myself into rehearsals and classes, anything that kept me busy enough to avoid thinking too much. I know that none of this is an excuse for pushing you away. If it's any consolation I did it to everyone, that's why my myspace disappeared. My Grandma Barrett even tried talking dad into sending me to a grief counselor. Instead dad thought going away for the summer would make everything better. I didn't want to go. I was so angry that I threw my phone and it broke when it hit the wall. He took me away from everything I had that reminded me of my mom. I spent the entire summer traveling Europe with a father who was in no better shape than I was. Worse yet was that there was no way for me to practice or perform. _

_When we came home dad informed me that we were moving to Akron and he was going to take over the main offices of the company. It was then that I realized he was running away from his memories of mom and dragging me along with him. You wouldn't believe the fights we had when I told him I had looked into performing arts classes in Akron and that I wanted to enroll as soon as we moved. When I told him I wanted to join Vocal Adrenaline I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. But Rachel, I needed to perform, I had to be on stage. I know you will understand this; it's something only someone like us can truly understand. _

_Seeing you the other night, I hadn't realized how much I missed our friendship. How much I missed you. There is still a lot for me to explain but I need to work on sorting things out for myself before I can even begin explaining it to someone else. All I can do right now is apologize for pushing you away all those years ago and hope that someday you'll use that phone number I left for you. _

_I really hope to hear from you Starlet, it would be great to have my best friend back. _

_JSJ_

* * *

Jesse was leaning over the chair his bag had been set on when he entered Carmel auditorium at three pm that afternoon, searching for his towel to wipe the sweat off his face. They had been running through _Highway to Hell_ all afternoon. Tomorrow they would work on _Bohemian Rhapsody. _Shelby always had them work on two numbers for every competition. When they were not preparing those numbers they were working on one of the three routines that were potentials for nationals. Shelby left nothing to chance.

It was now nine at night and they had another hour of rehearsal but Jesse was having trouble staying focused. During one of their earlier breaks he had pulled out his laptop and finally sent off the message he had written the night before. He had left his number when he saw her at sectionals but he never really expected her to call. The conversation that night had not gone at all as he hoped. Once he had seen her affix her showface firmly in place he knew they would not have a heartwarming reunion. He instantly reverted to Jesse St. James, lead of Vocal Adrenaline, and most decorated lead of any show choir in the nation. In other words he became the arrogant, condescending ass people knew him to be.

He did not know if she would read the message let alone respond but all he want to do was check to see if he had any messages. Jesse knew he still had a lot of explaining to do; the problem is that he is not even sure he can explain everything to himself. He sighed and tossed his towel down before heading back to the stage. _None of it will matter if she doesn't accept my apology._

"What's with you tonight Jesse?" Andrea asked as she stepped next to him on stage.

"What's with me? Nothing, my pitch is perfect, my timing is on, and my energy is where it should be. Maybe you should be asking some of the others the same question because I'm certainly not the problem"

"Okay so you can do no wrong but you still seem off to me." She crossed her arms. "What's wrong Jesse, in a little slump, need a way to release some tension?"

Jesse rolled his eyes at Andrea's teasing. "Yes I know you would be happy to help." He smirked. "But believe me I have no need to recycle."

Andrea dropped her arms and deflated a bit before composing herself. Jesse knew it was hurtful but really her pursuit of him was getting a bit old. "Whatever Jesse just get into position for the lifts before Shelby decides to keep us here even longer tonight."

They ran through their routine three more times before Shelby was satisfied. Jesse packed up his bag and threw on his VA hoodie leaving the auditorium as quickly as possible. He was tired and sore and wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and fall into bed. Six o'clock in the morning would come much sooner than he liked but he needed to get a run in before getting ready for school.

When he arrived at his house he was unsurprised to see that no lights were on except the porch light he had flipped on before leaving in the morning. He may as well have lived alone for all the time is dad actually spent at home. If Robert was not working late at the offices he was traveling to work sites or branch offices. Jesse believed that his father had been home for the equivalent of one year over the last three, and most of that time happened when they first moved to Akron.

Jesse made his way through the house flipping on lights as he went. He went first to the kitchen and threw together a ham sandwich that he ate as he walked up the stairs. He went into the bathroom and turned on the shower letting the water heat while he stripped out of his sweats. The bathroom was filled with steam and the water was hot enough to leave his skin red. After his shower Jesse wrapped a towel around his waist and flopped down in bed with his laptop. He really needed to crash but he knew that if he did not check his messages he would be up all night wondering.

Jesse could swear his heart stopped when he saw a new message waiting for him. For the first time in recent history he could honestly say he was nervous. She had written back but there was no telling what that message would say. He forced himself to open the message.

_Jesse, _

_I don't really know what to say. I guess I should start off by saying that I knew about your mom and I cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. I wish I could have told you that back then. I wish I could have been there for you. I'm not saying that to make you feel guilty but because it's how I feel. _

_I had no idea you were in the accident as well but I'm so relieved to know you were not seriously hurt. It sounds like you were dealing with a lot at the time. I guess a part of me can understand why you pushed people away. I have never known my mom so I don't know what it would be like to lose a mother but I have the most amazing support system in my dads. I would be devastated if something ever happened to one of them. I cannot say what I would do. I like to think I would allow my friends to support me but I might do the same thing you did. _

_It sounds as if you're dad wasn't handling things well either. Maybe your grandmother had the right idea. Did you ever speak to someone about what was happening? You don't have to answer that if it's too personal._

_Thank you for telling me as much as you have and for the apology. I'm glad to have that from you because you don't know what it was like to have you disappear and not really understand why._

_Jesse I have missed you as well but that guy that came to me at sectionals? I don't know that person. I would really like to have our friendship back but I'm not sure how to be friends with Jesse St. James VA lead and all around arrogant ass. I've heard the stories, the things VA does, the things you do all in order to win. Maybe we can try but I really hope there is still a part of the old Jesse still around because I'm not sure I can be friends with the person you are now. You're right I know that need to be on stage, the need for recognition, and to win but there is a difference between being sure of yourself and simply being a jerk. _

_I'm not leaving my number and I won't use yours. I don't think I'm ready for that just yet. Besides sometimes writing something out can keep you from saying something you don't mean. We can try. Hope to hear from you soon. _

_RBB *_

Jesse could not help but smile. It was not a complete acceptance but it was not a rejection either. She wanted the old Jesse and he hoped to god he could give that to her. The problem was he did not really know which Jesse was the real Jesse. All he knew at the moment was that he hoped Rachel could come to accept him and his friendship either way.


End file.
